Tuesday, September 13

Your New World Ruler

Well this is my first go at 'blogging', if I have the term right and first I'd like to put in a few details about how I feel I could benift the world its self:

I'm going to rule the world, and I would like you all to sign up and join me. I offer the following advantages.

  1. One person to blame for all your problems, even if I tell you your all wrong.
  2. No more wars, as thier's only one ruler.
  3. No more religious problems, I'm god and you all bow down to me and I'm always right.
  4. No more third world.. just one world... under my rule.
  5. No more Royal family.. I rule they are nothing.
  6. No more corrupt rulers... Just one big ruler.. me and I've got no one to be corrupt with.
  7. No defence force as there is nothing to defend against. Invest the spending else where.
  8. Huge police force, to keep you lot in line and get all those thieving little toe rags.
  9. One language... Danglish. Everyone will be taught it.
  10. No lower/middle/upper class. There's just you the rulies... and me.. the ruler.
  11. Everyone drives on the left, everywhere.
  12. One currency, Dounds
  13. No company monopolies.. If I don't like it I send the lads in.
  14. No world hunger, I will take from the really rich to give to the poor.
  15. Extra lane on the motorway, just for bikes.
  16. Planned colonization of Mars.
  17. No Road tax.
  18. No prisons, get caught, get sent to the moon penal colony, soon to become Monstralia.
  19. Drugs, stuff your body up as much as you like, but you won't get any medical support. Your choice.
  20. I'm great....
  21. My Son needs a family business to 'rebel' against, just like Dr Evil's son in the Austin Powers films.


Anonymous SV buddy! said...

Would you consider adding a policy that allows me free and uncomplicated sex with any woman of my choosing?

This may sway my vote.

12:07 pm  
Blogger Dan said...

Well I have to think of the world as a whole, not just the needs of a individual. By allowing this I may just loose the entire female vote, so somehow I don't see this happening.
You'll just have to go back to hanging around Supermarkets.

12:13 pm  
Anonymous SV buddy! said...

How's about just fit birds? Ugly-chicks who I'd rather not shag make up the vast majority of the world population and as they'll vote in your favour, you will still be the first past the winning post (which you don't even need a majority for incidentally).

I could filter that down to just fit but thick floosies as I could do without the intelligent ones asking "where's this relationship going?".

Yours sincereley

SV Buddy.

7:31 pm  
Blogger Dan said...

I think you don't quite get how this works, now while I would love to help you out in this way. If a large group off people male or female think that I'm selecting individual's and giving them way to much it destroys my support and power.What do I do when some lass asks me to get shot of some rather annoying guy on a SV, do I ignore her? Thus alienating her and loosing support of her and any other people she talks to? No I go for what best for the group by not creating the situation in the first place.
So while I like the fact that you asked and you should feel free to offer me these questions in the future, right now I'm going to have to say no.
Your New World Ruler.

9:53 am  
Anonymous sv buddy said...

"What do I do when some lass asks me to get shot of some rather annoying guy on a SV" - Aha!! You thought by writing this you could subtley tell me to go away!

Oh ok then it worked. But I shall leave you with this thought;

The world would be a much happier place with my recommendations implemented.

Ok, not completely true, but I would certainly be happier!!

SV buddy

12:47 pm  
Blogger Dan said...

No need to go away, mearly the answer will be no..

But remember.. when you think I need some one to rule the world...
Think Dan..

2:04 pm  

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